And just like that, he’s two.

When you get married, people tell you all the time that “kids change everything”. You hear it over and over and OVER again. You never really understand the magnitude of those words until you become a parent. When you hear the word “everything”, you don’t really think of everything.

Literally everything you do will change. The way you eat changes. The way you shower changes. The way you leave the house changes. Even the way you brush your teeth changes. Heck, the way you watch the ending of Toy Story 3 changes (**spoiler alert** The thought of your tiny human growing up and going to college will send you into a fit of the ugliest ugly tears ever).

As a mother, you lose your identity. They don’t tell you this. You become this little human’s world. Quite literally their way of survival. In doing that, you lose yourself. In my opinion, this is one of the hardest aspects of motherhood. I struggled with this A LOT. But then, little by little, you gain pieces of a new identity, a hybrid model of your old self.

Your relationship with your significant other changes too. Those first couple months you’ll never simultaneously love and hate someone so much. Sleep deprivation and hormones are mostly to blame but so is the male’s lack of maternal instinct. There is nothing sexier than your man sleeping, playing, reading, or just holding the tiny human you’ve created together.

Then, you get pregnant again. They don’t tell you the extreme conflicting emotions you will feel while pregnant with your second child. Even though I was so insanely happy, I felt guilt. Lots and lots of guilt. Guilt because I was about to change my little man’s entire world. Guilt because, even while pregnant, I couldn’t imagine loving another baby as much as I loved him. However, I knew he would gain his very best friend in life. After the second child is born, some of this guilt goes away. The days are long, the nights are longer but the weeks are oh so short.

The most important thing that they never tell you is love. Perhaps it is because the type of love that is created from having a child is unlike anything else. You love your children with immense unconditional love. The way you love your significant other becomes so much more intense as well. You have this new love for your own parents. And a new love for yourself, for creating a tiny miracle.

This little boy, he changed me, and made my dreams come true. I am so lucky to call this little boy mine. Happy 2nd Birthday to one of the loves of my life!

Underwater Image – Brandon Leo Photography

Bottom Right Image – Kristina Elizabeth Photography